I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
