I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
