hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you didnt know i had herpes?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
