Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
