im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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