3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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