So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
