That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
