i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
