At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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