I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
