Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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