wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
