do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My ass is underappreciated
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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