Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
