I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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