Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize