I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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