East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
