i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
