She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
