Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
