so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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