where does the pee come out of this thing
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
