this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I came so hard my ears popped.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
