Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
