The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
