You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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