Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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