Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
