Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
