i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
