after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
