how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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