I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
