how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
