It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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