You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
