Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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