my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
