A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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