the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
