Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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