We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
