on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
