I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize