For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
