how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize