So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just had sex on a roof
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
