found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
