Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize