You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
