that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
