Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
