did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All I want is dick and wine.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
