she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
