I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Blood and glitter go together right?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
