32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
