Buhtt sex?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
