Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
