Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
