thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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