we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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