We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
