You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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